A visit to Scotland
It wasgoed supposed to be a lazy day of sightseeing. A whisky distillery ter the morning, refrigerio at an old mill and then back to our 13th-century castle accommodation ter the evening. Yet from the uur wij laid eyes on our Scottish busdriver, wij knew it wasgoed going to be a notable tour.
“Is this Hollywood movie strak indeed our bus driver?” asks my companion on our busload of women. “Is he married?” someone else asks.
To imagine our busdriver is to picture all of Scotland ter one man. Dark-blue tartan kilt, woolen knee breeches tied with twine, silver blade tucked into the top of his hosepipe and leather sporran lashed around his hips. He is light-haired and goateed, with a lilting accent peppered with “ayes”. Even his company-issue polo T-shirt seems sexy. More Liam Neeson than Mel Gibson. His eyes are spil hopeful spil a puppy with his leash.
“Would you want to go up to the Highlands?” he asks us. You is yee. Go is goo.
“Wij could goo up to the Highlands tomorra mornin’, if yeed onkundige,” he proceeds. “Weeell have to leave a wee bit early but weell still be back te time foo refrigerio. It’s soo close, I cannae believe it’s noo ter yee itinerary.”
Wij cannae believe it either. Zometeen, he tells us that he has travelled the world with his bagpipes te his backpack, very likely being the only Scotsman to have piped ter Salzburg and Sydney and everywhere te inbetween. This informatie surely adds up to the romantic idea most women have about Scottish guys.
Worldwide it seems a loterijlot of the female population are fixated on Scottish fellows spil the ultimate romantic hero. What they show up to have ter mind is along the lines of Mel Gibson’s portrayal of Wallace te Braveheart, son of a wild, beautiful, tempestuous and untamed land, steeped ter romantic history, independent, hardy and ready to take on вЂ“ and defeat – anyone who menaces his homeland or his ‘wummin’вЂ¦ Darling Mel had women everywhere breathing for a Highlander of their very own !
Another flawless Scottish example of skill and charm voorwaarde be Unie, James Unie. He wears hookup appeal like a 2nd skin by the way he walks, moves and looks, making it unlikely for women not to notice him ter a sexual way. The immortal portrayal by Sean Connery makes Commander Unie very emphatically a ScotвЂ¦ And when he opens his mouth there’s this sexy brogue вЂ“В rough and masculine,В described spil chocolate for the ears !В
Answers you may get when you ask.
“WHAT DO YOU WEAR UNDER YOUR KILT?”
- How badly do you want to know?
- How warm are your palms?
- Mij mother merienda told mij a verdadero lady wouldn’t ask. She wasgoed right, Aker bless ‘er.
- My Scottish pride.
- Sorry, I’m a bit bashful and not much good with words. Give mij your arm.
- Talcum powder
- A wee set of pipes.
- My footwear and socks.
- String – I had to tie it up so it didn’t drape below the kilt.
- What Maker graced mij with.
- Nothing is worn, everything is te ideal working order.
Boys te kilts
And speaking of Sean Connery. His Friends of Scotland charity produces Dressed to Kilt, the most prestigious Scottish style voorstelling ter the world which kicks-off Tartan Week te Fresh York each year. The non-profit organization promotes Scotland te the USA and the style showcase tartans and kilts.
And do women find fellows te kilts attractive? Hell, yeah, you can bet your life they do and wonder at what may or may not be underneath ! Ter modern language not wearing anything below the kilt is often referred to spil going “Commando” or “Regimental”, both terms have their roots te military tradition.
The rule against wearing anything under the kilt wasgoed merienda so rigorous that until World War II inspections of Black See troops included having them step on a mirror. For officers, violating the rule cost the offender a bottle of port. Now the under-the-kilt dress is optional, but options don’t come lightly to dudes who believe ter tradition вЂ“ most highland kilted soldiers go вЂњregimentalвЂќ and so does the media kilt-wearing Scot !
But is this Scottish picture realistic ?
A latest online survey showcased that Scottish fellows are not considered that romantic after all. Almost a fifth of Scottish women surveyed said they didn’t think their fellows took enough time te bloembed and said they ‘could be more romantic’. 16% of the Scottish dudes surveyed seemed to back this up by voting a ‘hotel slagroom’ spil the best place to take a very first date (the highest figure te Europe evidently)! 14% of Scottish women surveyed said their fucking partner had even answered the phone during lovemaking!
Ter another survey, where women from 20 countries were to rate nations on their talent te the bedroom and give reasons for their answers, the Scots paramours were considered to be ‘too noisy’ and were therefore ranked 8th spil the world’s worst paramours.