Does your current beau/gf bring up their ex te conversation?
An Awkward Conversation
After years of searching and going on dates that never should’ve happened, you’ve eventually found вЂњthe one.вЂќ You hear wedding bells. You imagine what your children will look like. You see yourself dying old with a smile on your face. All signs point to a blessed and secure future. The road is clearвЂ¦. wellвЂ¦ except for one, puny patch.
Your beau/gf, for some unknown and frustrating reason, keeps bringing up their past loves and what they did to them. So and so had a pretty smile. So and so broke mij down every chance they had . So and so made the best cake. So and so cheated on mij with a total jack. So and so’s voice wasgoed so melodic that it always lulled mij into a peaceful sleep. So and so pointed out all of my flaws. So and so’s mother didn’t cross boundaries the way yours does. There are comparisons inbetween you and every ex. There are reminders of them everywhere. It’s maddening and too frequent to overlook. Something needs to be done.
Understandably, there are some questions going through your mind.
- Do thesis references mean he/she is unhappy ter our relationship?
- I would say that it’s very unlikely. However, the way they sound when they mention their ex is significant. Obviously, if they sound te love, you’ve got a problem. If they mention their ex like they mention their friend, it’s pretty tame and nothing to worry about. You have to reminisce that, like you, their ex played an significant role te your paramour’s life. There will be places that you go to or movies that you see that they experienced with their ex. Your fucking partner may bring up their ex at this time and its pretty frecuente. Spil much spil you would like to imagine otherwise, your playmate had a life before you. It’s just sharing memories, a ordinario part of a relationship.
- Do thesis references mean he/she wants to comeback to their ex?
- Again, this is very unlikely and dependent on the tone. Obviously, if they say, вЂњI miss smooching (insert name).вЂќ then it’s their way of telling you its not going to work.
- Why does he/she keep bringing their ex up?
- I have some theories. The very first is that your fucking partner is just making conversation. I know you’re thinking that there are fountains of things for us to talk about and their ex shouldn’t be one of them. You’re right. Still, there are many awkward people te this world who don’t understand that talking about your ex to your current gf/bf is uncool. Thesis people don’t mean to hurt their playmate’s feelings. They just don’t know any better. If they proceed to do this even after you told them how you feel, they either don’t care about how it makes you feel or are too into their ex to care. Ter either case, out with them.
- Another reason is that their ex is still a friend or that they’re attempting to keep the lines of communication open because they were friends before they got together. With this te mind, you need to be understanding. If you can’t treat it or if you feel that your special person is going too far, you need to either figure out a way to overeenkomst with this or opt of the relationship.
- A third reason is that your playmate still has a thing for their ex. You need to ask them if this thing is worth ending your relationship overheen. When someone who is still holding a candle for their ex is addressed ter such a way by their current person, they will either snap out of it and suck that candle out or, hopefully, have the decency to tell you that you should stir on because they can’t zekering loving their ex.
- A final reason is that they love you, but are so jumpy te the relationship that they are using their ex/memory of their ex spil a life preserver. It’s a scary thing to go from casually dating someone into the next level. You feel yourself aging and want to remain youthfull. Even if their ex only became their ex a year ago, that year of youth is very significant. They aren’t ready to grow up and have a long term relationship. They liked what they had with their ex because it wasn’t enormously serious and didn’t require them to give more than they could. Also, their ex is te the past and you are te the present and the future, two scary places because they are fresh and total of the unknown. The worst past relationship can seem ideal when you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
Spil with every relationship kwestie, you vereiste have a conversation. It will be awkward. It will be awkward. You will sob. They might sob too. There could be some yelling. Undoubtedly, there will be some muffle. You’ll be tempted to cut the conversation brief, wanting rather to retreat to your own corner or cuddle instead. Don’t give te to this temptation. Putting off a discussion only adds stress to your life. Talk it through to the resolution. This conversation is a major risk, but it’s a necessary one to make sure your relationship proceeds to grow.
The bottom line is, are you willing to lose your bf/gf to their ex/their memories of their ex? Are you willing to spend your life overcompensating for what your paramour lacked te past relationships? Can you spend your life being their private life preserver? Clearly, their ex/ex’s opinion still means a lotsbestemming to them. If you’re jumpy that they might terugwedstrijd to them, chances are they talent you reason to think so. You have to determine if you want to keep things spil they are (He/she proceeds to talk about their ex, making you feel like crap. He/she proceeds to bring you down with their sob stories. He/she indirectly makes you feel powerless for not being able to rid the world of scum like your paramour’s exs.) or if you want to attempt to make things better (You ask them why they keep bringing up their ex. You ask them if it’s their way of telling they’d like to comeback to their ex. You tell them how you feel and remind them that they can talk to you about anything. You remind them that life is what you make of it and they could lose you if they don’t zekering listening to the things their exs said to them.). While you may lose your bf/gf, if they are spil strung up up on their ex/remaining the person their ex witnessed them for spil you seem to think they are, you never truly had them to start with. You can’t spend your life feeling insecure, worrying if you’re being everything that your paramour needs you to be. You need to consider your own happiness.