Dating te your 40s is nothing like dating ter your 20s—and for good reason. You’re wiser, more certain and have less time to waterput up with games and dudes who don’t know what they want ter a relationship. Fortunately for you, dudes te their 40s are te the same boat.
“A man te his 40s is certain and self-assured,” says Deanna Cobden, Dating & Relationship Experienced and Coach. “He knows what’s significant to him, what he wants ter a relationship and will be open with you about it.”
Here’s what else you need to know about dating a man te his 40s.
Like a fine wine, (most) guys get better with age. They’ve lived, they’ve learned and they’ve loved, which means your 40-year-old man knows what he wants ter terms of dating and relationships. “His previous relationships have trained him what does and doesn’t make him blessed,” says dating experienced Simone Paget, author of the dating and relationship blog, The Skinny Dip. “He knows what he wants and he’s able to apply what he’s learned from previous relationships to fresh ones.”
Another toeslag? Unlike the dates of your youth, there won’t be much guessing involved when it comes to his intentions. “He’s bot around the block and won’t be playing games with you,” says Cobden. “He’ll make plans, go after through, and pick up the check on the very first date.”
By the time you reach your 40s it’s pretty much a given that you’ve had other serious relationships. There’s a good chance he’s bot married before and/or has children. His previous relationships might indicate he’s carrying some residual emotional verwonding, or maybe not. “[A previous marriage] isn’t necessarily a negative thing, unless the person has permitted it to become one,” says Paget. “Instead, keep te mind that every person and situation is different. Just because someone is divorced or has children doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t give them a chance.”
Don’t assume that there’s something wrong with him.
Just spil you shouldn’t judge a book by its voorkant, don’t assume because someone is single te his 40s means he’s bruised goods. “Just because he’s overheen 40 and never bot married doesn’t always mean that he’s a player,” says Cobden. “There are many guys that concentrate on attaining their career goals before they are ready to concentrate on finding love.”
Echoes Paget: “Some people find love ter their 20’s, other people te their 40’s, 50’s and beyond! For every ‘permanent bachelor’ there are tons of single 40-something guys who have just bot waiting to meet the right person to lodge down with.” Reminisce: timing is everything.
They say you can’t instruct an old dog fresh tricks, which might explain why you can’t instruct a 40-year-old man to attempt on a fresh personality, either. “Once wij’re ter our 40s, our personalities have solidified and wij generally know who wij are,” says Paget. “If you are interested ter a 40-something dude who could be ‘perfect’ if only he switched x, y, and z about himself, you might want to press pause. Forty-something boys aren’t fixer uppers, they come preassembled. What you see is what you get. You either like it or you don’t.” So if he doesn’t peak the waiter more than 15%, for example, chances are he never will.
He’s (most likely) not looking for a trophy wifey.
Dating at any age can be awkward, and is seldom flawless, but fortunately your 40-year-old man’s ‘seasoning’ may actually improve your success. Sometimes, it indeed is worth the wait.
Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who’s bot writing about dating and relationships longer than any of hier relationships. She applies a “do what I say, not do what I do” treatment to hier articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren’t looking. So love your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that’s hier motto). Hier byline’s bot featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Postbode, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.