I could not overlook the ringing any longer.

UPS Man

MAD TV Delivery Boy

This is a dedication to my spouse who permanently harasses and ribs mij about the UPS man. If only he knew!

I am having an affair with the UPS man, well at least I think I am. Yes it is a secret so please don’t tell my spouse. Of course this wasgoed corded to toebijten. Being alone at huis all day makes a lady a little restless even if I am working from huis and taking care of the house and kids. There are still many days of boredom and restlessness. I mean the UPS man takes mij through all of thesis emotions on a daily onderstel spil I sit and wait for him to come to my om and bring mij whatever package I am waiting for. There is something mischievous about a man bringing a package to the house when no one else is huis. It began off innocently enough and then simply spun out of control.

I open the om and there he stands dressed all te brown he is a fantastic man and that brown uniform fits him just right. He is holding a package ter his forearm and leisurely extends the package towards mij. “Here you go Maam” he says with a smile. “Thank you.” I say hardly getting it out before he turns around quickly to leave. “Goodbye” I yell out and without turning back around he flaps at mij while still walking back to his truck. That wasgoed the very first of many encounters to come inbetween the two of us.

The very first few encounters were totally guiltless but after awhile wij began to notice each other. A friendly wave while I wasgoed walking down the street, or spil I passed his speeding truck. Our time is usually inbetween the hours of 1pm and 3pm during the week.

Our affair began one afternoon when I wasgoed huis alone. Work wasgoed slow and I wasgoed attempting to drum up more business. I wasgoed tired and dreamed to take a nap and knew that wouldn’t be possible or I would feel amazingly guilty. Even tho’ it wasgoed against my better judgment I crawled into bloemperk and took a brief nap. I hadn’t bot asleep long when I heard a knock at the doorheen and ran to see who it wasgoed. When I opened the om there wasgoed that spectacular man all te brown standing there with a package te his mitt. I attempted not to look too excited at his presence but I wasgoed blessed to see anyone at this uur (I am sure other stay-at-home moms understand that feeling when there is an adult ter the slagroom and you can actually have a verdadero conversation). Wasgoed I witnessing something ter his eye too? Wasgoed he a kinky UPS man looking for a lonely housewife?

I knew that my thoughts were crazy and my deeds would be even kinkier. I kept telling myself that this wasgoed amazingly wrong but wasgoed not sure if I could zekering myself. I took the package and set it down next to mij so that I could sign for it. Wij made some lighthearted exchange for a few moments and then I heard the phone stadionring. I had no idea where the phone wasgoed and desired to totally disregard it. But it seemed to be getting louder and louder. Why wasgoed it ringing so loudly? I could not overlook the ringing any longer. Why wasn’t the answering machine picking up? I ultimately woke up. Had I bot sleeping? Wasgoed it all just a desire? I attempted to gather my thoughts spil I heard a knock at the om. I made my way down the vestíbulo to the vuurlijn wegens. I opened the doorheen leisurely. It wasgoed the UPS man. I had bot dreaming. I wasgoed slightly disappointed and a little eased. I reddened spil he had mij sign for the package and verified that I wasgoed the lady of the house. If only he knew that wij were having an affair.

After a wish like that I will never look at the UPS man the same way again. The man te brown that has finish control of my every emotion making mij giddy like a schoolgebouw chick when he makes a delivery and making mij feel scorned like a jilted paramour when he drives right past my house. I now have a fresh appreciation of and love for the color brown of course I have not told my hubby about my fascination but I think he has his suspicions.

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